


Guess I always push my luck when I'm with you

by we_are_the_same



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, tinder au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 10:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8010850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/we_are_the_same/pseuds/we_are_the_same
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>or: the Tinder AU nobody asked for.</p><p>It's not like he can't meet people on his own. It's just, he doesn't like most people. Or, rather, he prefers the version of them that he's made up in his head. </p><p>Case in point. Liam Payne. Zayn's sure he could find out through the college grapevine just what Liam's all about. But he prefers not to. He prefers seeing him in that jacket that fits his broad shoulders just right and <em>imagine</em> how he could be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guess I always push my luck when I'm with you

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on [this Larry prompt](http://paynner.tumblr.com/post/150117498695/au-where-louis-makes-a-tinder-because-hes-bored) on Tumblr that I wasn't planning on writing but then suddenly developed into a Ziam blurb in my head.
> 
> Title from dRuNk by Zayn Malik

It's a dare, really. Louis made him do it. That's his excuse for most of the mistakes ( _adventures_ , Louis would say) he makes, actually. It's not like he can't meet people on his own. It's just, he doesn't like most people. Or, rather, he prefers the version of them that he's made up in his head. 

Case in point. Liam Payne. Zayn's sure he could find out through the college grapevine just what Liam's all about. But he prefers not to. He prefers seeing him in that jacket that fits his broad shoulders just right and _imagine_ how he could be. 

He imagines soft hands, softer than they look. Warm embraces where he can tuck his head under Liam's chin. Chuckles in his ear that sound fond. He imagines the way he looks at him, says his name, to make his heart skip. 

In the actual world, outside of his imagination, Liam has never said his name. Zayn isn't sure Liam even knows he exists. And that's fine, really. Honestly. Because it's much easier to daydream about him than to have to face the reality, that there's no way this perfect fit is anything but imagination. Even if Liam was everything that Zayn likes to think he is, that doesn't mean that all that wonderfulness fits with Zayn. 

He's not someone's missing jigsaw piece. 

 

He knows Louis doesn't understand why he won't just go up to Liam and introduce himself. 

( _“And say what, Lou?” Zayn asks, exasperated._

_Louis stares at him, just as exasperated himself. “Hi, I'm Zayn?”_

_Zayn scoffs._ )

He doesn't understand because he's seen Zayn go up to people plenty of times. As he frequently reminds Zayn, he has seen him charm his way into many a boy or girl's bed. 

But never their heart. Zayn never says that though. Never tells him of the fear he feels, of falling short. Of meeting someone so right for him, someone who might have imagined him too, of taking the chance, and just .. not measuring up. Of saying _hi I'm Zayn_ and the answer won't be _I know you_ but it'll be _no you're not_. 

It's just easier, not to. 

 

Tinder, of course, is Louis' idea. In all actuality, it's Louis' doing. It's Louis literally grabbing his phone and making him a profile. Zayn lets him, because it's easier to let Louis, most of the time. 

And besides, it's not like he actually has to use it.

 

He's not sure what compels him to open the app. It might just be that he's bored in class. It might be that he's lonely. It might be both. Or maybe it's something simpler and more complicated than that. Maybe it's hope.

If Zayn could roll his eyes at himself, he would. He doesn't think it'll make much of an impression though. 

The app is fairly straightforward, and usually Zayn would like that. He likes his partners straightforward. And as a hook-up app, this serves an easy purpose. Swipe right, match up with someone, figure out details for when and where. 

There's a few people that he considers doing just that with. Because it's infinitely easier than getting to know someone in his head, all before he's said hello. But he's a bit tired of that, if he's honest. He's tired of meeting people who don't require any effort. Because it means they don't put any effort in for him either. 

It's almost automatic. See a picture, swipe left, see the next picture, left again. He's honestly not even sure why he's still on the app, when suddenly he freezes. His thumb, that had been ready to swipe left, halts its motion, and he stares at the photo. At those eyes that look familiar, even when Zayn has never seen them in such close up. At the tilt of his mouth that Zayn recognizes as the start of a warm grin. 

His heart pounding, his thumb presses to the screen. Swipes right. There's a moment of panic, the urge to drop his phone. Hide it. Bury the evidence. It's not too late to pay attention to his class. He can pretend this never happened. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. He should delete the app. Or maybe he can pretend Louis swiped right. 

Except. Except. He relaxes a bit. Except Liam won't ever know. Because as long as Liam doesn't swipe right (and why would he), Liam will never know that Zayn did. 

He breathes out shakily, breathes in a bit more evenly. It's fine. Everything's fine.

_It's a match!_

It's not fine.

 

He contemplated ducking out of class early, but he likes his teacher, and his teacher likes him, and he'd quite like things to stay that way. And, he reasons, it's easier to get out when he can get lost in the crowd. Not that this is a romantic scene in a movie, where Liam will chase him out if Zayn ducks out early. It's not, even if Zayn might have imagined it once or twice. 

Steeling his nerves, he waits for the bell to ring, before casually heading towards the exist. Nothing to see here, move along. 

“Zayn?”

Crap. He turns around, polite-hopefully-not-too-nervous smile on his face. “Yeah?”

He knows what comes next. _I didn't know you were in this class_. It must be such a surprise for Liam, seeing the guy he just got matched with on Tinder suddenly exist in the same classroom. He wishes he hadn't imagined so much about him. Maybe he'd actually get through one conversation without being inevitably disappointed. Or disappointing. 

“Hi,” Liam says, and he's all bouncing energy. It makes Zayn a bit nauseous. He prefers his let downs a bit less cheery. He deserves that, doesn't he? But then, Liam doesn't know he's about to break Zayn's heart. Liam doesn't know Zayn. And Zayn, for as much as he likes to pretend otherwise, doesn't know Liam. He knows daydream Liam though, and he'll miss him. With real Liam breaking his heart, daydream Liam does the same, and it's him that Zayn will truly feel heartbroken over. “I uh,” he starts, “I didn't expect you to-”

“be in this class?” Zayn interrupts him, because he might as well help Liam, even if it is in letting him down gently. Both daydream and real Liam seem to have a hard time doing so. 

Liam smiles. “No, I mean, I knew that. I just uh, I didn't expect you to like, swipe right on me.” He admits, ducking his head and blushing. Zayn registers it distantly. Then less distantly, when he realizes that it's _not_ something he's seen a hundred times before. It's something he's imagined, and reality is a thousand times more beautiful. “I mean,” Liam continues, when Zayn stays quiet, “I figured, you'd never see it, so what's the harm in swiping right? You're never gonna-” he pauses, sheepish. “But then you did.”

“I did,” Zayn says. “I didn't think you-” he swallows, “I mean I hoped-” He cuts himself off then. Because he's not sure what he hoped for, really. 

“I never thought you'd notice me,” Liam says, and his energy is a bit low now. Zayn's not sure if that means he's less nervous or if the thought just saddens him. It certainly saddens Zayn. 

“You thought about me?” It's not what he planned to say. But then nothing about this conversation goes as planned. Nothing about this entire encounter is as planned. He hasn't imagined this particular scenario. He's not sure whether that's refreshing or scary. 

Liam blushes. Zayn pays closer attention this time. Tries, for once, not to match it to daydream Liam. He knows after all, in the back of his mind, that they're not the same person. That comparing them isn't fair. Because real life never measures up. 

Except. Except real Liam nods. “Yea,” he says, focused on Zayn, other people milling about them, and it's like he doesn't even register. “Yeah, I thought about you.”

There's a masochistic part of Zayn that speaks up. “Do I disappoint you?” He wonders if he does. He wonders if he did before he asked. 

There's a cheeky twist to Liam's smile. “Dunno,” he hedges, “haven't gone on a date with you yet. So, dunno how you'd compare.”

All Zayn wants is to run away. But he meets Liam's gaze, anchors himself to the warmth in his eyes, reminiscent to daydream Liam. Hears that chuckle that he can so vividly recall hearing against his ear. It's there, in real life. Just as fond. 

He breathes in deeply. Takes a chance.


End file.
